FEUDALICIOUS!

This picture will make sense in a little while, I promise...

Once upon a time, there was a magical world called Nezdriodel. A great deal of interesting things occurred all over the place there, but we don’t have time for all that right now. Our story takes place on the troubled continent of Bravehold, where a wonderful love story was threatening to topple the entire continent into chaos. 

“But, love is grand!” I can hear you say in protest. Well, let me fill you in on the particulars.

The dreaded Frost Goblins had an even more dreaded King named Nulgriff, who was just about as mean as a three foot tall being could get. It was previously thought medically impossible for someone that small to contain such nefariousness inside such a short frame, but he managed to somehow pull it off. Nulgriff craved plunder and power, and he and his dreaded legion of Frost Goblin berserkers led a life chalked full of brutal raiding and merciless havoc. 

Things only escalated when The Frost Goblin King fell madly in love with the great and cumbersome Queen of the hulking Lava Giants, who was named Big Momma Sha’Graan (who swears that her immense size stems from a thyroid condition, but those claims have yet to be verified). Normally, when two people have the hots for one another, it rarely escalates into outright warfare, but this is a particularly special case, because Frost Goblins and Lava Giants are both particularly rowdy, and have higher tolerance for things like bone-shattering violence and rampant conquest.

Ever wanting to prove his love and devotion to his main squeeze, Nulgriff gave a hearty plea, “Dearest love, what is it that you want most of all, so that I can earn your big ol’ hand in marriage and unite our barbaric peoples?”

“Oh, how sweet!” Cooed the blushing, eyelash fluttering Giant Queen. “I am a simple girl who appreciates the simple things in life.” Her turnip-sweet words flowed, before she added, “Just conquer the entire continent of Bravehold as a dowry, and I shall be your bride.”

“Is that all?” The Frost Goblin King decreed. “What a pittance for such a fair maiden! I accept this most sacred love quest, and shall bring the 5 great Kingdoms of Bravehold to heel in honor of our hideous love!”

And that was that. Warhorns bellowed, axes were sharpened, longboats were dispatched, and an endless wellspring of little blue men began to run amok in the name of love.

Now, you might have recalled the part there about Five Great Kingdoms, remember? Well, as you might expect, they were none too pleased about all this subjugation business…

The Valtborn built massive castles and cathedrals, following strict hierarchies of Serfs, Lord and Ladies, and pious Clergyfolk. 

The Lepkin were wanderers and merchants without peer, leading lives of great adventure and travel, craving few things more than excitement and gold.

The Trollochs skulked about among cemeteries and graveyards beneath a blanket of eternal night, being spooky and divining grim futures with their three creepy eyes.

The Marinauts lived deep in their marble-columned aquatic Kingdom, slaves to their inexhaustible passions and delectable wiles.

And lastly, the enigmatic Serpae whispered and plotted ten thousand machinations from behind large, observant eyes and patient, forked tongues. 

These Five Great Kingdoms generally stuck to themselves, and lived in an uneasy peace until relatively recently, when the chilly Frost Goblin tidal wave openly threatened to drown the entire continent. Each of the Five Great Kingdoms suffered heavily during this time, and many lives were lost to the initial blitz of Frost Goblin aggression. 

Even still, the five great Kingdoms stayed to themselves, trying to weather the storm alone. Then, one fateful day, a blow was struck that simply could not be ignored. The Trolloch port town of Wrackhagen was sacked and looted by the Frost Goblins and their lovesick King in a mass slaughter of such bloody proportions that the entire continent of Bravehold took notice. What had once been written off as a mere Goblin nuisance had suddenly become a very real continent-wide threat that made all five of the great Kingdoms take notice.

When things looked their absolute darkest, a mysterious figure in a ragged grey cloak with a very well behaved gray weasel on their shoulder appeared to the leaders of the Five Kingdoms. This strange figure’s hood concealed their face in impenetrable shadow, and no one can quite recall if the mysterious voice that emanated from the hood was Male or Female, but all knew the enigmatic presence by one name.

“Call me Grandweasel.” The voice would say. 

Somehow, this mysterious presence convinced all 5 Kingdoms to unite in an uneasy alliance of desperation to fend off the slavering forces of Nulgriff and Sha’graan. Should the Frost Goblins and Lava Giant tribes be formally united in wedded bliss, the entire world of Nezdriodel would be in danger. After all, if Sha’Graan wanted an entire continent enslaved as a dowry, what might she ask for as an anniversary gift? 

The mysterious Grandweasel was not quite done lending their aid to the war-torn continent of Bravehold, however, and soon came the founding of The Order of the Stone Weasel (named after the dull gray cloak worn by its founder), a prestigious adventuring guild that only accepts the most skilled and remarkable heroes from any and all walks of life into its hallowed ranks. The Order has pledged itself to aiding the beleaguered and war-torn Continent of Bravehold, and stands as a beacon of gleaming hope in a land currently plagued with strife.

To this day, the noble crest of the Order of the Stone Weasel inspires the war-weary denizens of Bravehold, and while war and uncertainty loom on the horizon, the Five Great Kingdoms have become closer than ever before as a result of the brewing conflict certain to overtake the land. It is the age of great danger and even greater heroes!

Characters in Feudalicious! Take on the roles of brave men and women who have been invited to join the Order of the Stone Weasel, lending their might and courage to the fight against the most dire threat that the world of Nezdriodel has ever known.